What would happen if you decided to surrender to what is, rather than wishing it was some other way, causing unnecessary suffering?
I recently took six months of leave without pay from my job in the US for two reasons; one was to travel, and the other was to figure out how I could make money doing online work. My major goal for the last year and a half had been to save enough money to support this travel, but also to determine the best option for making money online to support a location independent lifestyle.
The first two months of travel consisted of Myanmar and Vietnam, and what weighed on me heavily was that I was no longer making an effort to determine this new way of life and lifestyle. Instead, I was doing what I should be doing when traveling in another country; enjoying the country. Sadly, I wasn’t able to be fully present and to enjoy the travel because of that guilt.
Finally, right before I was scheduled to travel to Bali for a 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training (YTT), I did something; I launched my blog. I had been meaning to launch the blog for over a year, and finally was able to get it up at the end of my Vietnam travels. Now, once I did that - panic mode set in. I was just about to begin an intense month long YTT. How would I keep up on blogging while living and breathing yoga every day? It hit me - I wasn’t. So, I notified my audience and let the blog sit for a bit. I stopped doing to be with yoga.
During the month long YTT, I was waiting for my answer about the best approach for online work to appear. What was I going to do to make money? I hoped something would come to me during the YTT, considering it was dubbed as “life changing.” Yet, that didn’t happen. Instead, I was left feeling disappointed that I didn’t get what I expected out of the YTT. The one burning question I had wasn’t answered. How was this “life changing?”
So I jumped into a five day silent meditation retreat through my yoga school. My teachers claimed that it was a good idea to do the retreat to solidify everything I learned at the YTT. So, despite wanting to continue trying to figure out my purpose and not wanting to be in silence for five days, I opted in. At this point, I was not expecting to get much out of the experience in the way of answers, since I hadn’t out of the YTT.
But then a funny thing happened. I stopped expecting something to come up, and when I did that, something actually did. I was basically miserable the first three days of the retreat, but by day 4, something changed. Unplanned, I had this strange visualization meditation. I pictured myself walking through a deep, dark ravine. I saw light ahead, so walked toward the light. I was walking toward a volcano (I was in Bali, after all). As I climbed out of the ravine and toward the light at the volcano, I met a guru. There, the guru simply whispered to me,
Be patient. The answers will come.
Wait, did that just happen? Is that actually my answer? Did I just have a random visualization meditation (had never happened previously), and a guru gave me my answer? And that answer was to stop seeking. Just be. Enjoy life. The answer will come to you as you are doing what you love.
Yes, that is what happened. Suddenly, I was on cloud 9. I didn’t want to leave the yoga school or meditation retreat. All I wanted to do was continue to meditate in the woods and go deeper. As my teachers had repeatedly told me, the answers are within. They are always within. We just have to be silent enough to listen to them.
Despite intending to travel for the remaining four months of my trip, I ended up staying in Bali. Something about the Balinese way of life, the energy of the island, and the people I was meeting wouldn’t let me leave. As I was going about the four months of my Bali life, I repeatedly met person after person who provided the same message in one way or another. Just be, don’t do. It’s the antithesis of a westernized way of life. If we don’t do, how will we get anywhere? How will we get what we want?
Because of my time in Bali, my life has drastically changed. I am suddenly a believer in a universal flow, a life force, something greater than ourselves that knows what is best for us and the direction our lives should be going. And if you follow that flow, you will be able to grasp the beauty of life and feel more aligned with your path. You just have to trust that the universe knows what is best for you; following the energy of what’s around you and simply going with the flow. Don’t push against the flow. Don’t oppose it, just go with it, wherever it may take you. If you don’t want to do something, perhaps you should do it. If you get messages to go one way despite your preferences, maybe you should go that way. Ignore your ego. Go with the flow.
Do I now have an answer for what to do for online work? No, I am actually back at my old job after my six months off. Practicing what I learned during my YTT on a daily basis. Life is a practice. I am surrendering to the flow and right now that flow has me back at a 9-5. Will I stay here? I don’t know. What I do know is that I will continue to follow the flow and if I no longer feel that the 9-5 lifestyle is serving me, I will leave. I will move on to the next thing, maybe not having a set long term plan. How can one plan more than the next few months of your life anyway? You never know what will happen. What will come up. How you will feel about a particular path. Who you will meet that will redirect your life in a completely opposite direction than you originally intended. All we really have is the present.
So here I am, living life and practicing yoga on a daily basis. Has returning back to the US been difficult? In some respects, yes. I am now back in the westernized world view of doing and controlling, rather than being and flowing. Has it been a challenge to maintain the universal flow perspective? Yes. But my life now has become one big practice of yoga. I am trying to watch everything from above, at the soul level, and to detach from my ego and preferences.
Lots of people have asked me how it is to be back, and my response is usually the same; “interesting.” It really is. Watching it all flow by while trying to remain unattached to a particular outcome has been life changing. Yes, it has been great reconnecting with all of my family and friends here. There have been ups and downs. I don’t have my beautiful rice fields to look at on a daily basis. I can’t practice yoga for three hours every morning like I used to. But that’s fine. I’m following the flow. It is what it is.
What would happen if we all just followed the flow of life, rather than resisting what is? How would your life be different? Would it lead to less suffering? All you can change is yourself. You control your reactions to what happens to you. You can’t change other people. You can’t change their reactions to things. Rather, you can try to understand their points of view with compassion and interest. You can control how you react. With lots of practice, you can learn to stop resisting what is. Be with what is. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. Watch that dislike, but don’t identify with it. See where it comes from, feel it, investigate it. Is it your ego talking? Is it something you can actually change? If not, let it go. Go with it. You can’t change it, so what good is opposing it going to do? It will only create suffering.
In the western world, we are taught to do. Work. Create. Work the job we dislike because it has a great retirement plan. Don’t enjoy your life now (except on the weekends). Burn yourself out. Work overtime. Work so much you have no time for yourself and self-care. Just do. Make money. Build. Cross off those items on the task list. Whatever you do, don’t be. Don’t take time to enjoy your family and life, except for that two week vacation you feel guilty for taking.
But what if we take a different perspective? Many in the eastern world have. And it’s the opposite of doing. It’s being. Do what you love. Do what you love and the money will come. People will be naturally attracted to what you are offering and want to pay you when you are sharing something you are good at and love. When you are living what you love, you will naturally do. You won’t feel forced to do. The doing comes naturally, it is a natural outcome of being. You are drawn to do because you are being. There is no other option but to do what you love.
When you are doing what you love, you are in the flow. You start receiving messages, perhaps job offers, ideas naturally appear, you meet people who reiterate what you are good at and what it is you should be following. You are in flow. Don’t resist it. Just be. Be patient. The answers will come.
Take a gamble, try not to plan every single detail of your life out. Just go with the flow. See what happens, who you meet, where life takes you. Feel like going to a lake on the weekend? Go; you never know who you will meet or what ideas might be triggered by what happens to you that day. A friend needs your help with something? Help them. You never know what will come of it. Follow the flow.
Of course, this is all easier said than done. It’s a life-long practice. We have to learn to listen to our intuition and ignore our ego. Our ego doesn’t have our best interests in mind. You need to be quiet enough to know what your intuition is telling you to do. Intuition is always right. When you learn to listen to your inner guru, you will know what is in flow and what isn’t. Listen to it. Trust it. Live it. The answers will come.
Much love,
Jodi
*Cover photo taken from Nusa Ceningan, Bali, Indonesia in July 2017.